What karmic holocaust have I perpetrated to deserve this? Was it the great bee mud wars of 1986 where all bees were systematically destroyed through crushing mud balls? Was it the wronging of those friendly and likeable "butt brothers" whose video games seemed to constantly disappear? Or was it the period of despair between Jr. High & High School that force me to admit that whatever happens to me is "well deserved?"
There are two great stampede's in Spain. One is well publicized, occurs every year in July and for an unlucky few, includes being trampeled or gorged. The other happens in a giant blue building, a happy fascade, a mazelike interior and has crushed more than one couple. Pamplona has nothing on Big Blue. Why so blue you ask, ever seen a really hot flame? Hell looks at IKEA and grins at its genius. After our first IKEA experience, I vowed never to return. In my book never means 6 days. Thus it was that yesterday Tessa and I, desperate but hopeful returned to face the masses of hell-spawn. They are not of this world. We went in with smiles, we left with tears. Mission partially accomplished. Purchases made, price paid, souls gone. Delivery time is today between 10-2. No problem we'll be here. But wait, its 5:30pm, the devil's delivery service sure takes its sweet ass time now that its got our souls. Hurry up you bastards (imagine shaking fist) hurry up!
Damn you devil, damn you straght to...um...IKEA!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment